I have been reading the book, "The Mission of Motherhood" by Sally Clarkson and have started a series of posts about my thoughts as I go through it. You might want to read this post first.
We made these goals about 10 months ago. We put the kids to bed early and then had a Daddy/Mama meeting. We prayed together and then made a list of the things we felt our kids were struggling with and what they were doing great with.
Our family's verse is "Love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul with all your mind and with all your strength." Mark 12:30
This has been the verse Cale felt God gave to our family. It is one of the first verses our kids memorize. It is how we want to live our lives, what we want our kids to see us do every day, what we try to weigh our decisions and commitments through, what we want our kids to desire to live their lives like.
So we took the two lists and this verse and we made goals. Then we PRAYED! We asked God to let us know if we were leaving something out. Did we put something on the list that was influenced by the world and not the desire to glorify Him? Cause I have to tell you it is VERY, VERY HARD to tune the world out sometimes.
We also share these goals with Caleb and Caroline. (Caleb really get this, Caroline not as much) We tell them everything we see that they are good at. We tell them we are so happy that God made us their parents. We tell them we see how they love the Lord more and more everyday and that makes us so proud. We remind them that all of their talents come from God and isn't it so wonderful He made them that way!
But we also remind them that we want to keep trying to be more like Jesus. To do this we have some things we can work on and pray about. Then we tell them the goals we have for them. They ask us questions. We remind them that we are all sinners and need Jesus to ever have a chance of working towards these goals.
Next we post the goals in the house so the kids can see them everyday. Then we pray with the kids, we pray as parents and Cale and I each pray separately. I keep a copy of each child's goals in my Bible so I remember to do this often. We also encourage the kids to pray for help reaching their goals. Caleb likes to remind us that we should pray for help listening to the Holy Spirit. He is really into the fact that part of God lives in him.
Do we do this everyday? No, we are not perfect. I have gone weeks and forgotten to do this. It truly just won't enter my mind. It is so hard for me to admit how often I fail as a mama. But God reminds me to start praying for a specific goal with that child again when we see the same sin issue happening over and over again.
These are the goals we have for Caleb and Caroline.
GOALS FOR CALEB (by 6 years old)
- Consistent Bible time to grow in knowledge of who God is, what He has done and what Herequires of Caleb
- reading and discussing with dad and mom
- listening to Bible on CD during quiet times
- family worship activities and discussions (daddy leads this)
- Memorization of God's word
- House Rule verses: these are in our Jesus Box, posted on our pantry door and we refer to them during times of discipline
- Obey first time asked without arguing or complaining (arguing can be an issue for Caleb)
- Entertain younger sisters when asked
- Can get self control after discipline in a reasonable amount of time
- Accepts correction with a good attitude most of the time
- Sit quietly and entertain self for specified length of time
- Brush teeth by self: Mom and Dad still check (he struggles with this)
- Beginning Reading (this is not an academic goal, but a character goal because we want him to be able to read the Bible)
GOALS FOR CAROLINE (by 3 years old)
- Consistent Bible time to grow in knowledge of who God is, what He has done and what Herequires of Caroline (this is done as a family daily, but also one on one with age appropriate Bible stories and songs)
- reading basic Bible stories and discussing with dad and mom (Adam and Eve is her favorite)
- listening to Bible or Bible songs on CD during quiet times
- family worship activities and discussions (daddy leads this)
- Beginning Memorization of God's word (in no particular order, we have only started with the first two. But she sings others with her brother that she cannot do on her own)
- Genesis 1:1 (knows this one pretty well)
- Psalm 118:24 (loves this one)
- Colossians 3:20
- Luke 6:31
- Mark 12:30
- Does not pitch fits when she doesn't get her way (she really struggles with this)
- Share (has to be reminded, but does willingly most times after reminder)
- Play quietly in room or by a parent for 20 minutes
- Got to bed and naps without pitching a fit
- Obey when we say "no" words
- Come to us when we ask her to, right away
- Knows and follows rules in stores
- Sit in buggy
- No touching
- No asking for things
- Potty Trained: not during naps and night (working on this now, she's doing great!)
Cale and I have found that we love setting goals for the kids. When we set goals for each child we have a standard by which to measure their improvement or lack thereof. It also keeps us as parents accountable (I NEED THIS) and the kids know what we expect of them. Plus, and this is the biggie, we can pray very specifically for each child.
Caroline turns 3 in June and Caleb turns 6 in August. So we will be doing this whole process again very soon.
Here is a link to our House Rules as well. You might notice that many of the goals tie together with verses on our house rules.
2 comments:
What a wonderful example of practically living out the gospel and God's Word! Thanks for taking the time to share the inter-workings of your family. It reminded me of Deuteronomy (which I can't say without laughing because of Cale)...
Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Deuteronomy 6:4-9
These are very good and reasonable goals for each child. I love your bible verse. Our family clings tightly to this too. And when there are days when I don't think I'm teaching them a thing, I always try to remember that as long as they know and love God, that's all that matters.
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