Committing Our Lives To God's Design

To continue on with, "The Mission of Motherhood" by Sally Clarkson we will get into Chapter 3. You can see the other posts in this series at the bottom.

The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands. Proverbs 14:1

Now first off I have to say that I am not and have never been career driven. But I had no idea what being a mom was really going to be like. I dreamed of babies, loving, snuggles and seeing pieces of me and pieces of Cale mixed together in a sweet little one. I knew there would be hardships, sleepless nights, discipline issues. But I didn't really know what this would be like in "real life" while being the mama.

I come from a single parent family, my mom worked, I went to public school, had babysitters and then stayed home with my sister after school when we were older. We went to church when we were very young and then that stopped. I had no example in my life of a stay at home mom, homeschool family, church going family, etc. Don't get me wrong. My mom loved us very much, she told us so, showed us and spent time with us when she could. But my life as a child was nothing like the life our family lives now. And I have to admit, I was not prepared or trained and had not done much planning for life as a wife and mother.

Sally talks about the frustration this can cause. She says, When they were preparing for life, they focused on career preparation and assumed that motherhood and a home life could be tucked in around the edges. The importance of motherhood, marriage and the legacy they would leave in the lives of their children didn't enter into their training and planning. So they were not prepared for the reality that motherhood, especially when it's carried out according to God's design, is more than a full time job. It's an absorbing task that demands all the resources God has given us- our physical energy, our intellectual abilities, our creative gifts- and involves powerful emotional attachment as well.

When we (women) set out to do something we want to do it 100%, whether it's a job, a committee we are on, a project we are doing, marriage, raising children, or keeping a home. The problem is there is only one of us. So if we are going to do what we do 100%, with our whole heart, it would seem that "doing it all" is impossible. If we try to do this we will at some point feel like a failure in some area, if not all areas. Our heart is just too divided. I know that there are women who have to work (my mom was one, if she didn't then we didn't eat), but I am speaking of the women who can honestly consider full time, whole hearted motherhood. I am speaking to myself! I had never considered this option and when I did, well I felt guilty. I felt like I was settling, like I was taking the easy route, like I was not as intelligent as the women who had their masters degree and a career. But it's what I really wanted to do. Every time I felt my son move inside me or heard his little heartbeat at our midwife appointments I knew I could never leave him for the bulk of the day, multiple days a week to go to work. (God was working in me big time, I was just listening out of ears tuned into current culture and not the Lord.)

Plus, I had no idea that there is nothing easy or less intelligent about being a mom. But no worries, God has shown me differently! It was no wonder my heart was longing for wholehearted motherhood. Sally says it best, Someone needs to take responsibility for our children's nurture, protection, nourishment, intellectual development, manners, recreation, personal needs and spiritual development. Someone needs to commit time and energy into staying close to them as they grow, encouraging and correcting and teaching.

Doesn't it make sense that a wise God, who ordered the rest of creation in a intricate and systematic way, would also have provided such a person to care for children- to commit wholeheartedly to creating the right environment for them to grow and to prepare them to live throughout eternity bearing His image?

Of course! This person would be mamas! I so wish I had known this from the beginning, it would have saved me so much guilt and worry. God intended motherhood to be a full time job, not what we do in the evenings and weekends. He wanted us to be able to mother with our whole hearts!

Don't get me wrong, even though I choose to stay home and felt blessed to get to do so, I struggled with times of feeling so dissatisfied. I found out that much of being a mama was doing the same tasks over and over again. And many of those tasks were not fun, they were boring or stressful or annoying or gross. (laundry, training, changing diapers, teaching manners...) I found out that my children were needy and seemed to be even needier at the most inconvenient times (bedtime for instance). And I have no idea why I am using past tense here. Because if I'm being honest I still struggle with this. But God has been showing me that many times the source of this dissatisfaction was and is because of the choices I have been making. When I am just waiting for the motherhood tasks to be over with so I can: read, blog, do lunch with a friend, have alone time, volunteer for such and such. You know, when I can do what I want, what I find interesting. When I am more focused on what I could be doing or will be doing later than mothering with my whole heart.

How could I put all of me into my time at home if I was always thinking about a future time when I could escape the routine tasks of motherhood?

You see, God has told me time and time again that I have to choose to embrace totally and joyfully all that motherhood entails, the joys and the sacrifices. Only then will I be mommying with my whole heart. And this is not a one time decision. I have to decide this over and over again. Everyday! Making this decision can be very hard. I can choose to be the best mama I can be or to have life my own way.

When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required. Luke 12:48

I became a little clearer about which path I needed to follow if I really wanted to reflect God's design. I began to see my children's care and nurture as God's best will for my life during my season as a mother.

If Cale and I truly seek to have children who love the Lord their God with all their hearts, souls, minds and strength, then I will have to accept there will be days of one more song sung, one more nose wiped, one more diaper changed, one more squabble stopped, one more reminder to say please, one more silly joke listened to over and again, one more lego stepped on... Because all of these "one mores" are ways I am nurturing my children, ways that I am teaching them what it is to love and be loved.

I will end with another quote from Sally. She really sums up the heart of the matter.

I needed to face the reality that all of that important stuff I was longing to do had far less eternal significance than what I was involved in doing. If I didn't commit myself wholeheartedly to the demands of motherhood, I would never be able to do my best, because my heart would always be somewhere else.

Posts In This Series:

Mission of Motherhood

Discovering the Mission of Motherhood

Goals For Caleb and Caroline

Exploring the Meaning of Biblical Motherhood, Pt1

The "Why"

Exploring the Meaning of Biblical Motherhood, Pt2

Committing Our Lives To God's Design, Pt1 (this Post)